Communicating when you don't feel like it.

Have you ever said " what's the point of talking" about a certain problem, because it always turns out the same. It's very easy to want to avoid conversations and brush things under the rug because it's just not worth it anymore. Or we just give in to what our mates want but hold resentment in our hearts.
These are all roads to a rocky marriage or eventually divorce. A lot of the time when this happens, especially when it's gotten to the point of not caring anymore, it's because we never change the way we communicate to each other. The way we communicate has been learned and developed mainly from the way we were brought up by our parents and if we don't make an effort to learn good communication skills then obviously we will get the same results. The problem is most of us think we communicate just fine and don't need to fix anything. If this is your thought then be prepared to stay miserable because there isn't one of us that is a perfect communicator.
Now there are several self help books and articles about effective communicating and they are very good tools, but what is your heart for why you want to learn them, is it to learn how to manipulate your mate into doing what you want or is it because you care enough about your relationship to learn how to effectively talk to meet both your needs.
Do you care enough about your mate to change without worrying about whether they will change? People can tell when you genuinely care about what they think and how they feel and if that is your heart when talking about anything then it will always be a win win situation. That's not manipulation, that is love.